my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize