i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
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Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
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The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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