Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The Olympian is in my bed
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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