yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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