White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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