You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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