this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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