I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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