just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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