You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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