so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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