oh god the rape fog is back!
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
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You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
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They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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