Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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