STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
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We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
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Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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