Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
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I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
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Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize