so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize