If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
...so i touched it.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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