I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize