I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
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