If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize