I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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