dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
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you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
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For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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