im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize