Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize