Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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