new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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