So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
She said her name was "party"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize