I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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