I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
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