help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
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Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
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We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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