I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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