Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
two words: eviction party
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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