so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
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You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
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I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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