how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
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I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm at about main and main street
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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