my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you didnt know i had herpes?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't deserve a penis
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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