At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
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Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
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Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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