I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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