beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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