now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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