Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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