Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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