A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Help. Why am I so naked?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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