i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
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My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize