Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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