none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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