I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize