the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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