Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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