The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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