You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize